Making Social Media Profiles Public

The internet today offers us both an interconnected web of community, as well as certain anonymity if we want it. Some people want private profiles to anonymously troll others, and some just want to share pictures with family and friends and not the whole world. When we make a profile on a new social media channel we always have to ask ourselves, should I make my profile public or private?

Before I became serious about expanding my blog, all of my profiles were private. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, you name it.

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I had some very specific concerns about toxic family members having access to my personal life because I had been burned before, but I also had the typical concerns. I was also afraid of trolls, Trumpers, stalkers, and bots, and I felt like the cons of making my profiles public vastly outweighed the pros.

However, if my goal was to truly create and maintain a successful blog and business that fostered connection (and it was), then I had to give others a chance to actually connect with me.

And now, it's story time.

The first few weeks that my Instagram was public, my name was tagged in literal pornographic photos of random ladies at least three times. Yeah. That happened.

Thank goodness I had notifications turned on, so I could immediately look at the photos I had been tagged in and report them.

I still have a professional full time job and my plain old dignity to protect like, damn!!

I was also followed by some suspected bot accounts - Oh, your name is Tom4819611314 and you have no posts, 2 followers, but you follow 800 people? BYE.

I am not afraid to block shady accounts. I do it all the time. In fact, I vigilantly protect my social accounts because to be a part of the community I'm trying to build you have to 1: be a real person and 2: be a nice person.

I feel like that's an achievable bare minimum.

Are There Any Pros to Making Your Profiles Public?

So yes, weird things did (and do) happen when I made my profiles public.

The flip side is - so many great things happened too.

I have gotten to connect with some incredible, driven, unique women who have become a support system for me on this daily grind. I've had awesome email conversations with successful established bloggers, as well as fellow newbies to the game.

I now believe that for me, the pros of making a profile public totally outweigh the cons. I have gotten to add so many wins to my running "Win List" that sustain me on days when I feel drained and directionless.

Some of my entrepreneur idols have liked my posts or comments, and brands that I aspire to work with have messaged me back with thank-you’s for sharing their information with friends.

Y'all - it's the coolest.

Besides fear of creepers, which I'm pretty sure we all have, there was another fear I held that I almost didn't want to admit to.

If I made my profiles public, that means everyone could see my inevitable failures, or laugh at my dearly held dreams for a bigger life.

Why was the least physically dangerous or career risking fear the one that gripped me the most?

It's just plain silly.

Deep down, I knew that I wanted to play it safe and only share my dreams and aspirations with the world when I was successful.

WOW.

If you're cringing on my behalf while reading this, then you have successfully understood the weight of this fear and belief.

Even as I had the gut reaction to hold my goals tightly and not show my cards to anyone, I also wanted advice and connection and input.

I couldn't - and can't - grow alone, and I am so glad that I chose not to.

After all, the basis of my drive to write is to name the things that hold us back, reject the things that keep us small, and offer real ideas for a way forward out of our feelings of "stuck-ness."

Working Through Fear

Your fear may not be whether or not to make your social media profiles public, but you may still give space to fear.

So, if you also have a cringey fear gripping your brainspace, really assess how it is serving you and why it exists.

My fear was, and usually always is, based on self-preservation and protection.

Stress was intended to initiate a fight or flight response to save us from actual imminent danger (see bear, run). It was not intended to be a source of long term influence over our choices that may lead to growth.

So if you want to make your profiles public for any reason - go for it. If you don't, then don't! This is really not the point, but I think you know that.

The point is, you can lean into the vulnerability of exposure in order to live authentically and grow.

Or, as Brene Brown would say, get comfortable in the wilderness.

That's where life happens.

Yours in the fearless pursuit of only good things,

Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia